I got out of a 3.5 year relationship a little bit ago. I can only remember the good and my friends constantly remind me how miserable I was. I don’t understand how I can only seem to think about the good and I constantly miss him when I was miserable
Well there's different reasons as to why you're going through this.
First, it was a long term relationship so he was in a good portion of your life. It can be hard getting used to the fact that you aren't with him anymore. Adjusting does take some time but keep in mind the end goal is to move on from him because you know he isn't good for you. You were a person before you met him. You can still be a person after him.
What if I don’t know if I have a mental illness or not? My family & friends speculate I do. I guess my quality of life is good enough to where I don’t want to find out if I do or don’t.
In this situation, I would talk it out with the family and friends who speculate you have a mental illness and ask them why they think you do. What symptoms are they seeing? Sometimes we don't realize our own behaviors because in our heads this is just how we are and it's normal to us. Do you feel like anything is affecting your life negatively to the point it's messing with how you function at work, at home, at school, etc? Do you feel you have any consistent symptoms? You don't always have to put a label on things if you don't want to. But if you think it's a possibility that it could affect you negatively, if it's not already talk to a doctor and if they think you need it, they'll refer you to a psychologist/psychiatrist. You don't have to make any commitments yet. Just explore your options and try to learn more about yourself.
Me and this guy have a type of relationship where it’s just sex. How do I tell him I want to be more than that?
Well I know the most unsuccessful way to go about this is asking "what are we?" because it puts the person on the spot and it can be difficult to answer. Instead, try telling him that you like what y'all do together and ask what he wants out of this ultimately and what he's comfortable with doing at this time. If he doesn't answer and turns it back on you instead, then you'll just have to be straightforward and tell him that lately you've been thinking about being more than just a sexual relationship and you're wondering if that's something he would be interested in doing. But also, keep in mind how long this sexual relationship has been going on, and how he reacted if you ever did bring something up that was outside of just sex. If you do feel there's potential for a relationship from the way he treats you and his actions, then definitely go for it. Shoot your shot! If he's shown you that he's reluctant to commitment then he may not ever want that, but it's still good to ask anyway so at least you're not thinking about the unknown.
My Gf wants me to spend time with her family but i dread going to her parents' house every time. What to do?
Recently I’ve come to the conclusion that I hate spending time with my gf’s family. Whenever it’s brought up to me that we have to go to her parents house my mood automatically goes bad and I’m just annoyed by everything. Whenever we go there we spend hours there, sometimes we even wash clothes over there and I’m on my phone bored. I’d rather be home or have them come over so I won’t have to feel uncomfortable and bored by myself over there. There’s always some sort of excuse for both of us to have to go there and it takes away a huge chunk of my off days that I feel I work very hard for. She usually goes and messes with her little brothers/sisters, then goes off to talk to her mom, then to her step dad, then about 4 hours later she’s finally ready to go home and I’ve just been hating my life the entire time. My gf wants me to be a family guy, who loves to be around everyone, but I’m feeling like I might be the complete opposite and it scares me because I know how important me being that guy is to her, and of course I want everything to work with us we’ve been together over 4 years. But this thing is driving me insane and i feel she’s maybe catching the hint that I dread being around her family and would rather be alone at home, but that’s just how I feel. How do I make everyone happy?