So here’s my problem. I have a dream that I want to chase but I’m afraid of what my girlfriend would think of me for chasing said dream. I want to create music and help others create music (I love music), this is the only thing in my life I’m genuinely passionate about and I feel I have a good ear. Despite having a passion for it I’ve been hiding the fact that I would like to get into this myself, and yes I know it’s a long shot for anyone but I do honestly enjoy sharing my thoughts and getting things off of my chest. I’ve even discussed this dream among various friends with no problem, I’d like her to be there and support me, I don’t know how she’d take this news of me wanting to do this but it’s been eating me up, I have this fear that she’ll look at me negatively like I'm just like everyone else. It scares me to think that I might miss on even giving this a shot just because I’m fearing the failure and the disappointment in her eyes, I can’t take that. I feel the anxiety just from typing this right now, What should I do? How should I go about this?
Me and my ex, who I've been with since my sophomore year of HS, broke up for good at the start of 2018. I was doing really good getting over him. I met a new guy at the end of May and was feeling really good about things. Then I started peeping that this guy talked about his ex a lot and that kinda hit my confidence. I brought it up to him and told him that I don’t even think about my ex anymore since being with him, to which he replied “I don’t think about mine either, at least not when me and you are together. Maybe after you go home but not when we’re together”. I appreciate the honesty but seriously wtf. So now it gets complicated. I started forcing myself to think about my ex so I wouldn’t feel more for my new man than he does for me and I thought myself into a whole depression. I think about my ex all day every day. I saw him a couple days ago and now I’m questioning my whole new relationship bc I want my old one back even though I know that will never happen. Am I going crazy? I feel like my new relationship won’t progress because I’m scared that my new man is still caught up on his ex. Not to mention she’s beautiful and short (I think he has a preference for short girls) and I’m already self conscious about my height (5’7) so it’s definitely not a good feeling. He’s mentioned my height once or twice too, nothing negative but just pointing it out to me as if I don’t already know. Does it sound like he’s not really interested? Should I just cut him off and try to start over with my ex? Or am I just being extra by forcing myself to think about my ex?
I got out of a 3.5 year relationship a little bit ago. I can only remember the good and my friends constantly remind me how miserable I was. I don’t understand how I can only seem to think about the good and I constantly miss him when I was miserable
Well there's different reasons as to why you're going through this.
First, it was a long term relationship so he was in a good portion of your life. It can be hard getting used to the fact that you aren't with him anymore. Adjusting does take some time but keep in mind the end goal is to move on from him because you know he isn't good for you. You were a person before you met him. You can still be a person after him.
Me and this guy have a type of relationship where it’s just sex. How do I tell him I want to be more than that?
Well I know the most unsuccessful way to go about this is asking "what are we?" because it puts the person on the spot and it can be difficult to answer. Instead, try telling him that you like what y'all do together and ask what he wants out of this ultimately and what he's comfortable with doing at this time. If he doesn't answer and turns it back on you instead, then you'll just have to be straightforward and tell him that lately you've been thinking about being more than just a sexual relationship and you're wondering if that's something he would be interested in doing. But also, keep in mind how long this sexual relationship has been going on, and how he reacted if you ever did bring something up that was outside of just sex. If you do feel there's potential for a relationship from the way he treats you and his actions, then definitely go for it. Shoot your shot! If he's shown you that he's reluctant to commitment then he may not ever want that, but it's still good to ask anyway so at least you're not thinking about the unknown.
My Gf wants me to spend time with her family but i dread going to her parents' house every time. What to do?
Recently I’ve come to the conclusion that I hate spending time with my gf’s family. Whenever it’s brought up to me that we have to go to her parents house my mood automatically goes bad and I’m just annoyed by everything. Whenever we go there we spend hours there, sometimes we even wash clothes over there and I’m on my phone bored. I’d rather be home or have them come over so I won’t have to feel uncomfortable and bored by myself over there. There’s always some sort of excuse for both of us to have to go there and it takes away a huge chunk of my off days that I feel I work very hard for. She usually goes and messes with her little brothers/sisters, then goes off to talk to her mom, then to her step dad, then about 4 hours later she’s finally ready to go home and I’ve just been hating my life the entire time. My gf wants me to be a family guy, who loves to be around everyone, but I’m feeling like I might be the complete opposite and it scares me because I know how important me being that guy is to her, and of course I want everything to work with us we’ve been together over 4 years. But this thing is driving me insane and i feel she’s maybe catching the hint that I dread being around her family and would rather be alone at home, but that’s just how I feel. How do I make everyone happy?
My relationship ended but he keeps texting me even though he doesn't want to get back together. What to do?
I was dating a guy for a year. Half was long distance, the other half he moved in with me. We bumped heads a lot because of the differences we had. Just recently we got into an argument and I put him out in the heat of the argument because of his level of disrespect. The next day I called him and tried to talk to him to come home. Instead he came and picked up the rest of his belongings. He lied to me about where he was going to be staying at, and then the next day told me he was getting his own place. My issue is that he left me in the most complicated situation. He left right before my rent was due, and never even gave me his half for the rent. Even when I told him about him leaving me with his part of the bills, he made an excuses for not being able to pay it.
He texts me once a day to see how I'm doing but that's it. Why does he keep texting me when he knows he isn't coming back? I've been breaking down everyday and he's fine, which blows my mind! Idk how to feel anymore. But I don't want to let him go. I think that we can fix things, but only if he is here with me. I also removed a lot of people from my life because of him. I just don't know how to move on. I don't even know what I like or dislike. I'm just at a weird space.
My girlfriend is into eating/fingering my ass which I don't mind but lately she's been wanting to use toys on me such as strap on and such. I'm not into dildos and toys at all. How do I let her know that I'm not into that sort of thing? I've asked friends for advice on this situation and one of them told me I would pretty much be the girl in the relationship and and that's definitely not a role I'd want. Additionally this same friend also told me that if we were to ever break up the gf would go around telling people I like things up my butt, which is also not cool. Any advice would be greatly appreciated Chanel. I hope you've been doing great ☺️ PS feel free to post this if you'd like as I think a lot of guys might have had a kinky gf that is into this sort of stuff but are themselves far removed from engaging in these types of activities yet at the same time feel pressures into doing so.
Life is such a blast! But at times I get really depressed. I always try my best but it goes unnoticed. Especially with my S/O. What can I do to prove myself and also not lose myself?
Dealing with depression is difficult and I'm glad that you're always trying your best! Keep trying to be the best version of yourself that you can be. If you feel that you are really trying your best and it goes unnoticed, then maybe the people who don't notice your progress aren't really as sympathetic/empathetic as you would like them to be. So you have to make a decision. Can you really go on trying to constantly prove yourself to them when it generally doesn't matter to them? Or do you just be yourself and make progress the best way you can and maybe distance yourself from these people and only focus on the ones who really care.
When it comes to your significant other, it is important to not lose yourself over them. At the end of the day, the person who has your back the most and knows you the best is yourself so always put yourself first. What's best for you to ensure the most success. A significant other should always be mindful of their partner's issues. A relationship should include being caring and beneficial to each other on an emotional/ mental level. If your partner can't be there for you and if they can't be encouraging when you feel you've been doing better, then that partner may not be what's best for you.
*Always remind yourself there are people who are willing to ensure your depression isn't faced alone. Be around more of those people.*
Back in January my girlfriend of 4 years whom I currently live with, went through my phone and saw texts between me and a coworker I had been developing feelings for. This coworker knew from the beginning that I had a girlfriend but that didn’t stop her from mutually flirting with me, going out for food after work, and occasionally touching me inappropriately, we would even talk on the phone after work until we both got home. Since January when everything was uncovered we haven’t had much contact, I deleted her on all social medias, and her number is deleted from my phone, my issue is I’ve been having strong urges to speak to her, I miss what we had, but I know it’s wrong and I can’t have that, but the desires within make things hard and sometimes randomly put me in moods if I think about it too much. She no longer works at my job location, she’s gotten a promotion and is working at a different location, so we’ve gone from seeing each other every day to seeing each other maybe once a month. It seems the more I don’t see her the more I want to see her. I don’t want it to hinder my relationship too much although it’s already done it’s damage, but we’ve been perfect lately so I wanna get these thoughts out of my head. How do I move on from this?