What's the meaning of life? Is there really a point to anything? Why do we exist and what's our purpose? These are things we often think about when we're feeling lost or frustrated, especially when there's a lot of negative in the world. There's an overwhelming pressure to get ahead and be on top and it often clouds our judgment and forces us into neglecting the things we want to do. I believe that we don't have a specific purpose given to us and that life is actually about finding your own purpose through free choice however you deem necessary. Here's some ways to help you find your purpose:
So I'm going to just start this post off by saying that the way a lot of people view exes is toxic. It's no surprise to me why so many people still allow their ex to be a huge trigger in their lives, especially when the relationship has been over for quite some time. Now I'm not saying that I've handled past breakups perfectly, but I definitely avoided the following things that I feel like other people should too.
1. If you're still talking badly about your ex, it means you still care. Yes, exes can be horrible but constantly telling social media how much your ex wasn't shit is only fueling your fire. By constantly repeating how terrible they were, you're not giving yourself a chance to learn the lessons of why your relationship didn't work. What faults did you have that you need to work on internally? If your ex was awful, what attracted you to them in the first place so you don't fall for a similar type again? Instead of constant shit talking, take some time to reflect so mistakes aren't repeated again. Then you can give yourself a chance to accept what happened so you can move forward.
I'm so tired of politicians and other people who claim to be pro life continuously try to ban women from getting abortions. For one, why is an embryo being placed at a higher value than the woman who will be affected for life by a pregnancy and being forced into having a baby? For two, if you don't approve of abortions, then simply don't get one. If it's against your religion to get one, then guess what? Not everyone has the same religious beliefs as you and it's not for you to judge. And lastly if a woman is a victim of rape or incest, if her birth control failed, if she's too young, if she's not financially or mentally stable, if she's not in a stable relationship, or any other reason, she should have the right to an abortion if she feels that's what's best for her. Instead of trying to completely ban abortion, we could work on having preventative measures being more accessible. Here's what we should be trying to do:
I'm sure by now mostly everyone is familiar with the term "toxic masculinity." The Good Men Project defines toxic masculinity as "a narrow and repressive description of manhood, designating manhood as defined by violence, sex, status and aggression. It’s the cultural ideal of manliness, where strength is everything while emotions are a weakness; where sex and brutality are yardsticks by which men are measured, while supposedly 'feminine' traits—which can range from emotional vulnerability to simply not being hypersexual—are the means by which your status as “man” can be taken away." When we go on social media or the internet in general, we see attacks on men for having toxic behaviors due to their masculinity, and it is bringing awareness to the issue. It's easy to blame men for the way they behave but we don't bring enough attention to the root causes and how we need to help men.
We are a generation of more awareness, more education, more information, more access, and more platforms. That's why it's more important than ever to break cycles that have proven to be harmful.
It can be a generational cycle. Maybe your parents were abusive. Maybe your parents didn't allow you to communicate your side. Maybe your parents made you grow up too fast by giving you so much responsibility and/or exposing you to things too early. Whatever it is, you don't have to be that way towards your kids. Let your kids communicate, let them be themselves, show them love and compassion instead of fear and violence. Learn to discipline them in ways that won't have negative longterm effects on them. Be the parent you wanted your parents to be when you were going through a tough time as a kid. If your parents ever made you feel super awful, remember that and don't repeat their same mistakes with your kids. Break the cycle.
I have this theory that you should be whole on your own first before seeking out a relationship. Why? Because this makes it less likely for toxic behaviors to happen in the relationship. Also, if you're whole on your own, you won't be so dependent on your partner to "complete" you. You won't have to rely on them for your overall happiness. I think people get so overly invested in relationships that they forget that they're still their own individual person. When you're in a relationship, you tend to make everything about you AND your partner when not everything in your life has to include your partner. You literally make your partner part of who you are and it's just excessive and unnecessary. So many people are convinced they can't be happy unless they have a partner and that's why I'm writing this. Now I've talked about why being single isn't a bad thing before and you can click here if you want to view that because it ties in with this post too.
Everyday there's talk about mental health but all we see are the words "mental health" and that's not enough for people to know more about it. We don't talk enough about different mental illnesses. It's always anxiety and depression and never anything else that is affecting a good amount of people. We don't talk about how to care for mental illnesses enough. We don't talk about breaking patterns enough. We don't talk about healing enough. It's always oversimplified how to go about mental health and that's why people don't get it. Also people are always improperly diagnosing themselves instead of just seeing a professional.
So everyday I come across people who say no one checks on them, whether it's in person or on social media. No one asks how they're doing, no one recognizes they're going through a hard time, no one cares, etc.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this constant pressure to get ahead and do more. No matter how much I accomplish, I feel like I'm still behind. I've graduated college with a degree, have a career now, and I own a house. Yet, I still feel like I should've been opened a business or I should've been able to get a house in a better neighborhood or have a nicer car. I feel like I should have thousands in my savings account or I should've traveled at least 3 times this year. I know a lot of people who feel this way too. Where is this pressure coming from? In my opinion, the biggest culprits are family and social media.
If you have never been raped, assaulted, molested or anything else that defines sexual abuse, shut the fuck up about how a victim was supposed to handle the situation. I don't care how uncomfortable this topic makes you but it needs be talked about.