So I'm going to just start this post off by saying that the way a lot of people view exes is toxic. It's no surprise to me why so many people still allow their ex to be a huge trigger in their lives, especially when the relationship has been over for quite some time. Now I'm not saying that I've handled past breakups perfectly, but I definitely avoided the following things that I feel like other people should too.
1. If you're still talking badly about your ex, it means you still care. Yes, exes can be horrible but constantly telling social media how much your ex wasn't shit is only fueling your fire. By constantly repeating how terrible they were, you're not giving yourself a chance to learn the lessons of why your relationship didn't work. What faults did you have that you need to work on internally? If your ex was awful, what attracted you to them in the first place so you don't fall for a similar type again? Instead of constant shit talking, take some time to reflect so mistakes aren't repeated again. Then you can give yourself a chance to accept what happened so you can move forward.
2. If your ex was bad to you and they still "run back to you" frequently, it's most likely because you make yourself accessible to them. If you always respond to them or take them back, they know they can always come back. It's not because they still love you or want to change for you, it's because you're convenient. Maybe they're lonely or they just want to see you if they have that control over you, but most times it's not because they love you. So don't brag about how ex still hits you up constantly. You're most likely still giving them attention or you enjoy the attention they're giving you (meaning you're still not over them).
3. If you think getting in another relationship to get over your ex is going to work, you are actually making things worse for yourself. You didn't give yourself a chance to heal from the past relationship so that you don't bring baggage into a new relationship. You will probably be triggered very easily, handle disagreements poorly and be emotionally immature. If you feel like you need someone else to get over an ex, that's already a big sign you need to do some soul searching. It's on YOU to heal internally to get over an ex, not someone else. Don't use people like that, even if it's unintentional, because you might end up hurting someone when you realize you weren't ready for a new relationship after all.
4. If you get in a relationship just to spite your ex, that's even worse. I don't know why some of you think your ex HAS to see how "happy" you are in your new relationship. You are literally only in this relationship for revenge. Reevaluate your priorities immediately. Again, you're doing this at the expense of another person's feelings and using them to give you attention in an attempt to get your ex's attention. Please stop. Even saying stuff like "my ex never did this, but my current partner does" shows you're still hurt and you want your ex to be hurt too, and most times your ex doesn't care. That's why they treated you poorly in the first place.
5. If your ex gets into a relationship and you talk shit about their new partner, you still care and are probably jealous. That new partner might provide them with something you weren't able to and you can't judge that because you're not in that relationship. Even saying shit like "my ex took me to that same restaurant he's taking her" to try to make yourself feel like you're still relevant in their life is a sign you still care. If he's taking his new girl to that restaurant, it's probably because he likes that restaurant, not because he's not over you. Don't worry about what your ex is doing in their new relationship. Worry about you and what you need to do to live your best life.
6. IT IS OK TO BLOCK YOUR EX. Why do people act like that's a bad thing? If you truly don't want them in your life and they were toxic, then block them! They don't need to have access to you or be aware of what's going on in your life. I've literally seen people say that blocking an ex means you're not over them. What??? I think it's the opposite. If you really don't want to block them it's because you still want to see if they contact you or you want them to see what you're doing, Again, these are signs you're not over them. So don't hesitate to block their number or social media because you don't need to be in contact with someone who did you wrong anyway.